I have a friend who posted on her blog the other day about some hurtful things were said to her regarding her children. It got me thinking, and I wanted to get your thoughts as well.
I’ve heard some pretty ignorant remarks concerning my son and his autism. Most are annoying: “Wow, I didn’t know Buddy Boy was actually SMART…kids who have autism can be smart?”, “Buddy Boy is so LOUD”, “Thank heavens you got such an angelic daughter to help you deal with your son”, “Your opinions regarding your son are WRONG…you need to discipline him MY WAY”, “I don’t know why you’re making a big deal of your son, autism isn’t a big deal”, etc.
On Mother’s Day I was at church and my son was struggling. A baby was crying, and he is REALLY sensitive about that type of thing, for whatever reason. He started yelling “Baby NO CRY!” My husband immediately took him out so that no one would be disrupted. Not two minutes later, some people sitting behind me started whispering about disruptive people. One of them said, “Well, at least they’re not as bad as Buddy Boy!” I ended up leaving church early in tears. The worst part was that my 8-year old daughter heard it, and felt embarrassed by her brother afterward.
Some comments I’ve heard have been hurtful, particularly this one: “Your kid doesn’t have Autism, because autism doesn’t exist. He’s just a retard.”
Ouch.
The comment my friend heard the other day?
“It’s YOUR fault your kids have autism.”
Double Ouch.
Why do people feel the need to open their mouths and say hurtful things? Particularly about ones’ child(ren)? I’ll be the first to admit that I look at other people’s kids and sometimes make assumptions. It’s human nature. We see a child, an adult, or whomever, and based on looks, sounds, whatever, we paint a “picture” of that person in our minds. I get that. What I don’t get is the need to blurt out any unkind thought that crosses our mind!
So…here’s are my questions. What kinds of comments have you heard people make about your child(ren), whether disabled or not? How do you handle them? Any secrets for keeping those comments from eating away at you? What about your other children? What do you say to them when THEY are the ones hearing comments from inconsiderate adults? Please, share…I’d love to hear from you!
